The Krillin

1/3 shot Disaronno

2/3 shot white rum

Add Disaronno first, then the rum.

Pretend every shot you take is one more notch up on your own personal "owned" count. See if it's physically possible for an actual human being to suffer as much ownage as Krillin has over the course of the series. Except don't, because I don't want to be held responsible for your alcohol poisoning.

The Krillin goes down easy. So don't hit it too hard.

The Piccolo

1 shot gin

Ginger ale

Dash of green Chartreuse

Pour gin into rocks glass with ice, top with ginger ale, then add the Chartreuse.

Dry, a little bitter, aching with loneliness, and noticeably lacking in either male or female genitalia. Combine with The Nail to FEEL INCREDIBLE!!!

The Goku

3 scoops of vanilla ice cream

Gumdrops

Whipped cream

Chocolate sauce

Chopped walnuts (Remember, you can't drink these. These are nuts.)

Arrange all ingredients in an exciting fashion, garnish with a blueberry muffin, and prepare to wake up in the morning with one BITCH of an ice cream headache.

The Gohan

1 shot Jack Daniels

1/2 shot triple sec

orange juice

Pour whiskey and triple sec into a rocks glass with ice. Top with orange juice.

It looks like a lame, childish, nerdy glass of disappointing orange juice. But take your eyes off it for a moment, and it will transfer so much kinetic energy from its tibial extremities to your anterior nasal spine that the buildup of pressure will cause said nasal spine to erupt with extreme force from the posterior occipital region.

It will kick you in the face so hard, your nose bones will come out the back of your head.

The Vegeta

1 shot vodka

1/2 shot white rum

1/2 shot blackberry liqueur

Grape Rockstar

Dash of Angustora bitters

3 drops of lemon juice

Shake up all alcoholic ingredients with ice, pour into large chilled cocktail glass.

Top with Rockstar.

Add bitters and lemon juice to the top.

This drink will rock you like a hurricane. If you, like Vegeta, are already teetering on the corner of emotional instability and barely-controlled nervous fury, a combination of this drink and somebody thwarting your plans will likely send you right over the edge. Check to make sure your eyes aren't bleeding, and remember that all dead henchman with whom you are currently conversing are really dead. Forever.

The Nappa

1 shot Bailey's

1/2 shot vodka

1/2 shot caramel schnapps

Chocolate milk

Pour all alcoholic ingredients in a rocks glass with ice. Top with chocolate milk. Stir.

Come on. You know Nappa is a chocolate milk drinker.

The Vegeta Jr.

1/4 shot blackberry liqueur

1/2 shot vodka

1/4 shot absinthe

(all ratios approximate)

Pour blackberry liqueur in first.

Pouring over the back of a spoon, layer vodka on top, leaving a little space before the brim.

Layer absinthe to fill up the glass.

Light it on FUCKING FIRE

VEGETA JUNIOR NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Raditz

1 shot grenadine

1/2 shot vodka

Sprite

That's right. It's pretty much a Shirley Temple. Sure, there's a little bit of strength to it, but it's really only enough to briefly slow down a five-year-old child. If paper machè and bug monsters aren't weak enough for you, try knocking out a Raditz for an easy self-esteem boost.

Pour the grenadine and vodka on the bottom of a highball glass with ice. Fill with Sprite. Wallow in shame.

The Yamcha

Oh...okay. Ummm...

I think there's equal parts white and dark rum somewhere in here, along some other hard liquor--whisky, I want to say?

There's clearly something green mixed up in there too. I have crème de menthe, melon liqueur, and green chartreuse, so it's gotta be one of those.

I can also definitely see something creamy, and probably something acidic too; maybe lemon juice, based on the way that cream is clotting up.

And some sort of mixer. Knowing me, it's probably Sprite or ginger ale. Possibly both.

Are...are those...strawberries?

You know what, fuck it. I don't even know what this "Yamcha" is. But it sounds disappointing.

The Bulma

1 shot vodka
1/2 shot each of triple sec, white cranberry juice, lime juice, and Blue Caracao
Shake ingredients with ice, pour into chilled cocktail glass

It's a cosmopolitan. It's an attractive yet unnatural shade of blue. You're a lady, and you put up with all manner of bullshit from idiot muscleheads who fly off to fuck around with aliens, leaving you all alone to fight giant crabs beneath the ocean. You deserve this.

The Little Green

1/3 shot gin

2/3 shot melon liqueur

These are delicious. Keep drinking them until you are no longer capable of remembering that your name is Dende.

The Big Green (aka The Nail)

1 Little Green
1 shot melon liqueur
1/2 shot gin
1/2 shot absinthe
Teaspoon lime cordial
Bitter sparkling lemonade--Bitter Lemon or San Pellegrino work well.

Pour lime cordial into highball glass with ice (ice optional).
Add all alcoholic ingredients.
Fill with bitter lemonade, to taste.

The Nail hits hard, sharp, and with a barely concealed flavor of seething resentment. If you don't like it, you can call 1-800-EATAD*CK.

The Super Kame Guru

Equal parts crème de menthe, and ChocoVine-brand chocolate wine (It's a real thing!)

Whipped cream to garnish

Gulp down this glass of rich, minty, chocolatey goodness to help yourself more fully enjoy the sociopathic entertainment of abusing underlings and just straight up not giving a fuck. The flavor is so thick and overindulgent that it is frankly disgusting after any sort of prolonged exposure. But then again, so is Guru. I'm pretty sure this is how he got so fat.

THE GINYU FORCE!!! (Quadruple shots!)

The Guldo

1/2 shot gin

1/2 shot crème de menthe

dash of green chartreuse

The Recoome

1/2 shot Fireball cinnamon whisky

1/2 shot crème de cacao

Jeice and Burter (aka The Seizure Procedure)

1/2 shot Sourpuss Raspberry

1/2 shot Blue Curacao

A few drops of Angostura bitters

Use a spoon to layer the Curacao on top of the Sourpuss. Add bitters to the top

Captain Ginyu!!

1/2 shot Southern Comfort

1/2 shot cherry brandy

The Zarbon and the Dodoria

The Zarbon

The perfect drink for a romantic Skype date with your totally real girlfriend, "Chuck".
A small amount of lime cordial
1/2 shot Malibu coconut rum
1 1/2 shots Alizé Bleu liquor
Lemonade

Pour lime cordial into bottom of large chilled cocktail glass
Shake up alcoholic ingredients with ice, pour into glass
Top with cold lemonade


The Dodoria

The most beautiful AND FERTILE drink from its home planet.
A small amount of grenadine
1/2 shot Malibu coconut rum
1 1/2 shots Alizé Red Passion liquor
orange juice

Pour grenadine into bottom of large chilled cocktail glass
Shake alcoholic ingredients with ice, pour into glass
Top with cold orange juice

The Frieza

Classy, wine-loving, and undeniably fruity, Frieza should clearly be represented by this deliciously sinister blood orange and blackberry sangria.

1 bottle of your favorite wine--white wine, red wine, or...dare I say...rosé? 

1 shot blackberry liqueur

1 shot apricot brandy

1 1/2 lemons

Juice of 1 lime

2 blood oranges

2/3 cup blackberries

2 tablespoons sugar

Sprite or 7-Up

Pour wine, brandy, and blackberry liqueur into a pitcher, stir in sugar.

Squeeze in juice of half a lemon, juice of one lime, and juice of one blood orange.

Slice up remaining lemon and remaining blood orange and add to pitcher, along with the blackberries.

Allow to refrigerate overnight

Add Sprite or 7-Up to pitcher soon before serving, to taste.

The Popo

Equal parts Vodka,

Bacardi Black rum

Absinthe

and Jagermeister

Combine all ingredients in a glass. Serve on the rocks.

The bravest men in the universe have gazed into the soulless depths of this abomination, and trembled. Consume to enter the void.